At nearly 27 weeks I have heard every comment possible about my body. I've had women tell me how big I am, how small I am, how high or low I carry. I've had my doctor tell me I'm measuring perfectly, my weight shouldn't be of concern. I've also had mothers tell me to just wait and see how miserable I get- gee thanks. After a week long trip to Disney and a grand return to Yoga class I can say one thing- my body is foreign to me.
As a former dancer and someone who has always been extremely body conscious I have a really hard time with this. I mean, sure, there are days I just feel fat and would kill to have my waistline back. But this goes beyond even that. I really have no concept of my body and its capabilities anymore. Walking for a few hours at Disney left me feeling like my feet were bruised- though I am happy to say I pushed through and walked the whole 7 days, mmhmm! At yoga I have found that I am still very flexible (yep, I can still put both palms on the floor as long as I spread my feet a bit to accommodate the belly) however, I can no long turn my upper body. Reaching forward leaves me breathless and feeling like I am going to throw up. And a few squats (with about 25 extra lbs) feels like torture.
None of this is giving me much confidence in my birthing capabilities. I mean, I really have no concept at the moment of what my body can do, what feels comfortable, etc. The only thing I do know is that I could lay in modified child's pose for hours. Do you think you can birth in the position?!
Anyway. I am feeling blech. Exhausted beyond belief. If one more woman tells me (oh so kindly) about how much worse it's going to get or how huge I am I may actually eat their faces off. I mean, seriously, on what planet is that helpful? What about growing a child makes my body open discussion. Do I comment on your weight gain? Do I comment on how old you look? No. Because it's just not helpful. I guess is just goes to show that girls' catty-ness wasn't left in high school. It's still somehow hardwired in us that everything is a competition of some sort. Like we still need to justify our emotions and experiences by putting others down and commenting on their individual experiences.
For now, I will still with my doctor's comments. I am hopeful they know what they are talking about. I won't be concerned until they are concerned. I would still like a waistline, but I suppose that will have to wait. As for the birthing, I will just have to do yoga/movement more regularly to become more acquainted with this new body of mine- even if it will only be around for another few months.
ktw
26w5d
2 comments:
Listen, and you listen well-
People are just saying things like that because they are jealous of you, and insecure with their own bodies. Don't listen to any of them. How much easier is it to point out someone else's flaws when you aren't comfortable with your own? It's easy, very easy. For the record, you look beautiful, and I wouldn't listen to a thing they say.
And don't worry, after the baby is born, it will all go away, and you'll have your old body back, because you'll want it back and have the will power to do what it takes to get it back. Not everyone has that. So even though some people might be telling you how their kids changed their waistline blah blah blah, it doesn't do that to everyone. My cousin Theresa was smaller after she had her first baby than she was when she got married. You'll be fine, pretty lady. Hang in there.
i remember being in your same exact position- I would get so upset because I couldn't tie my own shoes!
This is one of the coolest things that can ever happen to a woman- when that little baby is in your arms, you will forget about everything else!:)
I can tell you from my experience (i gained over 60bs!!) i am still trying to get my baby weight off but it is happening and I am still trying to get used to my new body. I think it is all a process and it just keeps going...pre- pregnancy, pregnancy, post-pregnancy...
keep your head up- its so annoying to hear all of those negative comments - I think people usually are well intentioned but have no filter!:P
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